Scoundrel Records

Octomonkeys - Really?!?

A guide to climbing, falling and cat chow.

……BRRREEEET ERROR….. Transmission piggyback detected…. Decryption commencing….

Hi Mom,

I don’t know when this will get through but my slicer friend said this should work for at least a few more times. Whenever I get to a port my data journal will dump on the holonet and should reach you sooner or later.

You know that group I went off with that I can’t mention even in an encryped file <alliance> have still been very good to me and getting three squares a day, or at least most every other day is a big perk. Not to mention I get to have some of the most fun I have had in years. (I probably would have been thrown into the Imperial stockades long ago if I stayed near home.)

So, I’m hanging around this gaadawful space station crammed pack full of people. It is supposed to be in the shape of a wheel but it is more like some crazy rannat maze with walls so think I could probably explosively decompress it with a fork. My supervisor thought it would be good for me to see more of the galaxy and get out of his Mon Calamari “hair”. I think I’m being punished for some “accidents” that happened around base. They can’t prove anything as you always taught me, “Clean up your messes or at least don’t get caught.” Well, anyway, I’m just people watching when one of my old mates, Sasha, comes clipping by heading for the docking bay. I just want to chat to catch up as the last time I saw her she left in a huff about something or other. She throws me the “OK” and “Big Money” signs and then motions that I should follow. It seems they were in need of another meat shield, er gun hand, and I was trustworthy enough to make the cut.

Talk about a strange group of people I got mixed up with. And to think my “superiors” want me to recruit whenever and wherever I can. I hope aboard this beautifully, large ship headed out to who knows where. (I’m not much into the technical stuff as one planet looks like another to me but I heard it was far away, and if you believe it, had some type of lost “treasure” on it.) I figured it was as good of place as any to “aggressively aerate the geology” so I was more interested in what boomers I could get my hands on rather than the whens and the wheres. In any case, I met some interesting beings, Mal, Jovel, So Hath and Zero…


Do you crave UNLIMITED POWER!… Come down to the Generous Jawa Droid Emporium….


And then I couldn’t believe this huge tentacle from some monstrous octo-monkey type creature just scooped down and plucked So Hath right off the ground. I drew and fired but I think I just scared it off. This planet was teaming with nasties and we seemed to be the menu for lunch. We traveled a bit further finding an old wreck of a ginormous clone wars ship. As we were scouting around Sasha got herself underneath another native animal that was some crazy cross between a cat, a chainsaw, and a shark. I was sure she was a goner and Mal and I even pelted it with everything we had but So Hath saved the day with a well placed shot that killed it. Afterward we learned that it was a Nexu and got to take some souvenirs but I knew I didn’t want to meet up with another one of those. (Little did I know…) So, we wanted to get up as high as we could in the wreckage to bed down but for some reason they gave me a greased rope or something. I could have sworn I fell three or four times just trying to get to our campsite. (I guess I’m not meant for the high life and should stick to ground hugging.)


Why, yes, you should get me some tauntaun steaks as they are cheap out by Hoth. I hear, though, that you have to hold your nose when you eat them!…


A ship full of treasure is not worth these freaky animals, more octo-monkeys trying to get at me and then two more of those Nexu beasts. As if they weren’t bad enough on their own some screwed up spacer decided to meld them with some cybertech wizardry. When I saw that one on top of Sasha I knew she was a goner and I would probably be next. And So Hath had one bull rushing him. And out of the blue Mal, the sullen, quiet one, whips out this enormous blaster and splays out the first cyber cat killing it dead on the spot. I wish I had a holo vid for that one. And then he repeats that feat again with the kitty that was playing catspaw with So Hath. Wow! But that crazy critter wasn’t dead yet so I finished him off in the best way possible, sending him off with a BANG! Your son ain’t no dummy and doesn’t mess around with wimpy blasters and such.

Well, my journal is running low on juice. Tomorrow should be interesting and I might even come away from this with some spending cash. (That is if I survive…) Don’t fret if you don’t hear from me in a while and know that I always love you and the family. Tell Dash and Dinah to stay away from the Imps. See you in a few cycles.

Your handsome and brave son,



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